What is the devaluation phase?
The devaluation stage. Once a narcissist has hooked their victim, they start showing their true self. This is where the insults and put-downs start slipping into what they say. By pretending they can still be loving, the narcissist makes their victim believe the insults are their own fault.
How do you communicate with BPD?
Here are a few basic pointers for communicating with someone with borderline personality disorder in a healthy and productive way:
- Be patient.
- Be realistic.
- Try to separate facts from feelings.
- Validate feelings first.
- Listen actively and be sympathetic.
- Seek to distract when emotions rise.
When is no contact used with a person with BPD?
There’s never a black and white answer, but it might help to know when no contact is used with a person with BPD. No contact is when the non-borderline partner ceases all forms of communication with the borderline partner. (I now will just use NB and BP, respectively).
Should you go no contact after a borderline breakup?
The people who are avid advocates for going no contact after a borderline breakup are usually people without BPD. They think that if they are out of the BP’s sight, they will simply forget about them. Well, not all BPs are wired the same way, and what works for some does not work for all.
Are people with BPD dangerous to themselves?
People with BPD are inherently incredibly dangerous to themselves. We struggle with self harm, suicidal behaviors, impulsive behaviors, intense emotions, and more. Most of us have serious abandonment issues.
Is it okay to not set boundaries with the BP?
That’s not setting a boundary with the BP, that’s letting both of you know that you can’t set boundaries. Going back and forth is even worse than no contact because you are not letting the BP heal, you are just reopening the wound every time. They will lose sleep over when you will next contact them and what you will say.